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Thursday, January 17, 2013

ambigu perasaan cinta

seperti halnya ambigu cinta pertama , tentu saja terdapat ambigu terhadap hal yang lebih sederhana, yaitu cinta. pendapat tentang cinta yang simpang siur membuat kita bingung akan apa itu cinta, bagaimana itu terjadi dan bagaimana seharusnya perasaan cinta itu berlangsung.

kita sering mengatakan bahwa cinta adalah sesuatu yang tumbuh dalam diri. perasaan senang yang timbul akan hadirnya ketertarikan, lalu peduli dan rasa ingin membahagiakan serta selalu melindungi. hal ini tentu saja menampik adanya kehadiran napsu dalam cinta. anggapan ini jelas menerangkan bahwa cinta adalah hal yang  tak tergantung terhadap ketertarikan sex. ini tidak salah, tentu saja kita mencintai keluarga kita, tanpa memiliki ketertarikan sexsual.


lalu bagaimana jadinya rumah tangga tanpa hadirnya napsu? bisakah kita mencintai pasangan kita, tapi melampiaskan napsu terhadap orang lain? bagaimanapun kita tak dapat menolak pendapat bahwa dalam hal ini, napsu sangat dibutuhkan dalam membina cinta antara dua pasangan. well, penulis berpendapat bahwa paragraf ke dua sesungguhnya menjelaskan tentang rasa kasih sayang/peduli. bukan cinta.

fase kebablasan dari semua ini, adalah tradisi orang-orang barat yang menyamakan kebiasaan bercinta dan cinta secara sejajar. bisa dibilang mereka memaksimalkan fungsi napsu dalam hal ini. jika kamu cinta "maka bercintalah". sounds good, but doesn't right. bagaimana bisa kita yakin bahwa cinta yang ada dalam diri dapat dinikmati dengan melampiaskannya pada apa yang terlihat dari fisiknya. pasti akan cepat bosan.

lalu bagaimana?

opini penulis (sudut pandang laki-laki):

cinta, adalah sebuah perasaan sempurna ketika grafik kasih sayang dan napsu berjalan sejajar. sudah seperti  seharusnya semua hal di dunia ini akan berjalan melalui sebuah proses, grafik yang dimaksud adalah prosesnya.

masalahnya, proses terjadi... antara kedua grafik ini tidak selalu sama, tergantung pada masing-masing individu dan sifat yang dibawanya. namun kebanyakan, grafik napsu berjalan sungguh lebih cepat. itulah mengapa penulis tidak membenarkan proses tradisi orang-orang barat yang tidak menjaga hubungan sex hingga pada titik pernikahan. karna hampir bisa dipastikan,  orang pertama tempat melampiaskan napsu bukanlah jodohmu.

kita harus menahan grafik napsu agar berjalan sejajar dengan grafik kasih sayang, karna grafik kasih sayang sudah pasti tak akan berjalan cepat. 

adalah metode pacaran, yang bisa membuat kita mengatasi masalah kasih sayang yang berjalan lambat ini. tentu saja, saat pacaran (secara sehat) kita dilatih untuk menyayangi seseorang tanpa meminta imbalan pelampiasan napsu darinya. hal ini baik secara umum, hanya jika kita melakukannya dengan benar.

lalu bagaimana dengan napsu dan cinta? tenang...
napsu yang berjalan begitu cepat dapat mengimbangi kasih sayang hanya dalam satu atau dua malam. ya, tentu saja itu terjadi saat kalian sudah menikah. itulah cinta kalian, yang indah pada waktunya.
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